My sister once said to me that Ricky Martin was sex on legs. I think tango is sex on four legs. 

Smouldering. Sensual. Sophisticated. Sex with a capital S. 

Our first milonga was at Salon Marabu. ‘Oh, that’s a bit,’ … said Cynthia, as she held her nose in the air. We didn’t know it then, but it was. Women dressed to the nines. Killer heels. Very ‘proper’. We were with friends, Mirta and Yiyi, and were shown to a table next to the dance floor. Yiyi immediately rooted around in her bag. ‘Oh I’ve forgotten my glasses’, she said with an exasperated sigh. ‘You need to make contact’. She looked slightly stressed. Tango, it seems, has many hidden codes. Yiyi had to wait to be asked to dance – she had to see a bailarin literally give her the nod*. I was stunned. It seemed archaic. ‘I don’t know anyone here, I don’t think I will be dancing tonight’, she said. And she so wanted to dance. Men check out the bailarinas before asking. They don’t want to be stuck with someone who’s no good. 

We were just there to watch and had none of this stress. Tango music started up and couples took to the floor and stood close. Feet tapped slightly to feel the beat. Women leaned into men. Cheek to cheek or shoulder to shoulder; hip to hip or breast to breast. Variations on a theme. Hands were clasped or splayed on backs, or lightly touched arms or shoulders. Men led,  women followed. Each couple danced their own dance, slow, fast, stately, showy, traditional, individual. Basic steps allowed for a lot of improvisation, instinct and creativity. Women swivelled hips, pivoted, circled their feet in slow, tantalising sweeps across the floor and slid their foot ever so slowly along their partner’s calf. A foot  might be caressed between those of a partner, and legs crossed over each other and over a partner’s. Less subtle, more carnal were the quick kicks and flicks – sometimes between the man’s legs. The bailarin added his own kicks and pivots. Each dance was punctuated with pauses and changes of direction. And of course all of this happened with a flow, in communion with each other and the music. 

We were exhausted just watching. The tension was palpable. The Argentinian poet laureate Discepolo once said: ‘Tango is a sad thought you can dance to’. Fear of rejection, longing, desire – it all added to the mix. We tried to work out who was together, and who was not. Who was looking for contact, and who was trying to avoid that glance.* 

Men ruled the roost. Much older men danced with younger women. Time after time I wondered, ‘How could she, why would she?’ A shortage of leads is a problem. But tango can be a drug. Cynthia later told me, ‘We just want to dance as well as possible, that’s all that matters. When you’re dancing, it’s fantastic. When the dance finishes, the attraction ends.’ ‘For me at least’, she added. 

But Yiyi leaned across the table to tell me, ‘You can pay someone to dance with you’. And she pointed to an old lady in a short dress, who could barely walk as she made her way to the floor. ‘She only dances with him, no-one else’. And she gestured to a table behind us, where a man sat between two women. He danced with them in turn. And only them. 

The more we watched, the less we understood. I’d worried that I wouldn’t be able to stay awake for tango. Milongas start way past my usual bed-time, but it was riveting. Far from closing, my eyes felt like they were out on stalks. It was past midnight, and the orchestra was just about to come on. The bandoneon players – no spring chickens themselves – pinched and nipped their instruments for all they were worth. Toes tapping, bodies swaying, they stretched and squashed their squeeze boxes, extracting a rich organ-like sound. Accompanied by violins, piano, and a singer, it was a wall of sound, invigorating and captivating. An hour later, professional tango dancers took to the floor – two couples, a three-song performance each. Two bodies moving as one. Acrobatic, balletic, extraordinary. 

It was still going strong when we left at 2 a.m.. We were not, but we were buzzing. We’d got tango fever. 

Tango Jargon. 

Milonga: A social event where people gather to dance tango. 

Bailarin/a: A male/female dancer

Tanda: A tango set, consisting of between three and five bits of music. 

*Cabeceo: The signal to dance. This involves a tilt of the head, eye contact, and lifted eyebrows. This can happen from the other side of the room! The woman can pretend not to notice!

Practical Stuff. 

Hoy Milonga. www.hoy-milonga.com lists the day’s milonga schedule. There are several milongas every day. Each has a different character.   

Anyone can go to a milonga/practicar to watch – or dance.

Salon Marabu. Maipu 365. There’s a charge, but it’s nominal. Around pesos 3,000 p.p. Probably best to reserve a table in advance. This can be done via WhatsApp.  Drinks are available and snacks. Table service. Reasonable prices. 

Maldita Milonga. Peru 571. (San Telmo). Very similar to Salon Marabu. A bit less conservative, a slightly younger crowd. Gets very crowded. We didn’t reserve a table and only just managed to find stools to sit on, even though we arrived very early. Bar, but no table service. Professional dancers and an orchestra (often El Alfronte) also perform. 4,000 pesos p.p.